First, I want to thank everyone for their prayers. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. The medical team worked on daddy for about 2 hours but couldn't fix his blockages, so now he is going to have to have more surgery in the coming weeks. Once again, I will be asking for prayers in the near future. However, I thought I would go ahead and post the following:
Laughter is the Best Medicine
These one-liners were taken from actual doctor notes on patient charts. Think we are in trouble?
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room
Happy Anniversary to Jack & Debbie!