Thursday, April 03, 2008

In Honor of my Daddy's Recent Trips to the Hospital

First, I want to thank everyone for their prayers.  Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned.  The medical team worked on daddy for about 2 hours but couldn't fix his blockages, so now he is going to have to have more surgery in the coming weeks.  Once again, I will be asking for prayers in the near future.  However, I thought I would go ahead and post the following:

Laughter is the Best Medicine

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These one-liners were taken from actual doctor notes on patient charts. Think we are in trouble?

  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
  • Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
  • Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
  • The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
  • Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  • The patient refused an autopsy.
  • The patient has no past history of suicides.
  • Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  • The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
  • Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • The skin was moist and dry.
  • When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room

 

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Happy Anniversary to Jack & Debbie!

Product-HappyAnniversary

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4 comments:

joan said...

Hi Jennifer,

I must have missed your post about your Dad the other day. How frustrating for him. I will keep him in my prayers. Take care. Loved the photo of your daughter and her Papa.

luvmy4sons said...

Sorry to hear it didn't go as well as you had hoped it would. Praying that it can be resolved with as little medical intervention as possible and quick healing! Being in the medical field once myself, I can see how those comments were made on charts. I am an "ex-nurse" and I have seen it all!

PAT said...

Jenn...thanks so much for the chuckles...we both enjoyed them so much.

We'll keep your dad in our prayers. Hope all goes well with the sugeries and he is up and going soon!

Pat

Beverly said...

I'm sorry to hear they weren't able to help your father this time. I will pray for success with the next procedure.

Thanks again for always making me smile.